The Ghosts of Posts Past

21 Dec

A long time ago, I published a post called “Only the Rocks Live Forever.” You can read the link, but the title kind of speaks for itself. Unfortunately, that title is wrong.

Let me explain.

This blog began as a suggestion by my therapist. My mind would become overwhelmed with all manner of thoughts that dealt with all manner of issues. It was great to relieve some of that psychological pressure in her office, but she felt that something else would help. Hence, this blog was born.

In the beginning, this thing was anonymous, and I railed on anything and everything that brought frustration. This ranged from the ridiculousness of everyday life to complaints about the people around me, from family to friends.

One day, I realized that the blog was no longer anonymous when I received a negative comment about one of the posts. It was a cruel post based on a scene from a movie. The post was deleted and rewritten in a nicer way. However, I knew that the blogging experience had changed, and the blog would have to change with it.

I read through the posts and deleted all of the ones that I felt would be harmful to the people around me. The frustrated, cynical, therapist induced blog was dead, and a new one was born. I began publishing posts on Twitter, and the page views shot up. People all around me started reading posts about travel, concerts, and any dumb thing I could think up.

A few minutes ago, I learned that it is not just the rocks that live forever. Blog posts live forever, too. The task of deleting all posts that would hurt people proved impossible. On December 21, 2011, I wrote a post about my terrible day. I blasted just about everything and everyone that I encountered. It was a full-blown therapy post from the time of blogging anonymity.

One of the people in the post just read it and asked me to delete it. That post no longer exists, and I am sorry for hurting them.

The post came a few weeks after the blog began, and I was only averaging 5 readers a day. Essentially, I was writing for myself because I was the only one reading it. I had to get that day out of my mind.

Those are not excuses. I knew that the Internet was a public forum and decided to put my thoughts into its tangled web. Then, I naively thought I could get rid of everything negative and turn the blog into something else. It did not work.

Today is December 21, 2014, and I am a completely different person than I was when this blog began. Back then, I was working my way out of a bad place and needed an outlet to help me crawl out. Today, I am in a wonderful place and am happier than I have ever been. There are a ton of real life reasons that have put me into this place, but I am convinced that this blog has played a large role. In that way, it worked.

For everyone that has read this blog and been hurt by it, I apologize.

For everyone who has read this blog and enjoyed it, I am glad that you have.

For everyone who has read, liked and commented, I say thank you.

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9 Responses to “The Ghosts of Posts Past”

  1. Marilyn Armstrong December 21, 2014 at 17:59 #

    Yes, it is true. Whatever you post on the Internet lives in cyberspace forever. Things I wrote 20 years ago pop up in searches. I warn young people to be careful what they post on places like Facebook — you never know when it may come back and bite you — or at the least, embarrass you. Or get you un-selected by a college or employer … or some guy you really like. I love the freedom of blogging, but I try (and do not always succeed!!) to tread softly. Because every post IS forever.

    • Rick December 21, 2014 at 18:01 #

      In the early days, I did not tread very softly. These days, I choose my words and topics with caution.

  2. frontrangescribbles December 21, 2014 at 20:03 #

    I have enjoyed your thoughts and your iPod’s playlist I hope you have a great Holiday.

    • Rick December 21, 2014 at 21:20 #

      Thanks. I hope it’s a great Christmas on the front range.

  3. shutterbugshea December 21, 2014 at 23:08 #

    I really enjoy your posts ….especially about the old movies and the stories of your travels!
    Blessed Holidays to you and family!

    • Rick December 22, 2014 at 01:41 #

      Thank you. I hope the holidays are great in your part of the world.

  4. DyingNote December 22, 2014 at 04:17 #

    One lives and learns…or is it the other way around? Me, I’m glad you write because blogs these are for me some of the simple and great pleasures.

    • Rick December 22, 2014 at 04:27 #

      Thanks. Blogging has become part of who I am. Is it learn and live?

      • DyingNote December 22, 2014 at 04:35 #

        It’s a loop – learn, live, learn…ad infinitum

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