Brunch at the Bar

28 Jan

Today, my girlfriend and I went to our favorite restaurant for brunch. Usually, the hostess, one of my former students, can get us a table pretty quickly. That wasn’t going to happen today, so we scouted the bar for seats. We have become adept at being what I call “bar sharks” – people who hang around and scout for people who are close to getting up.

This is not an accurate representation.

This is not an accurate representation.

My girlfriend’s skills were in top form, and she found a couple of seats. We ordered deviled eggs as an appetizer and settled in for some delicious delicacies. We also settled in to check out the crowd around us. Lots of interesting things can be seen at a bar at night, but a few interesting can also be seen at a bar during brunch.

First, a lot of people go to brunch after church, and it’s funny to see them all decked out. It’s amazing how God requires women to carry Louis Vuitton purses and wear big diamonds to worship. It’s as if the best dressed gets through the Pearly Gates first.

No Gucci = No Wings

No Gucci = No Wings

It’s also funny to see the church people saddle up to a bar and order a drink. Wait, it shouldn’t be that strange since Jesus turned water into wine. I wonder if he could turn it into a Mimosa and Bloody Mary, too. Heck, he could have named the second one after his mom. At least, the three women next to me who were praying didn’t order any shots.

Across the way, a couple of guys were wearing purple sweaters. I don’t have anything else to say about that except one had a floral pattern.

There was a young couple sitting next to my girlfriend, and it was hard not to eavesdrop. Actually, it was a little difficult, but we were doing our best. They were new to each other, and she kept asking him personal questions like, “Do you like dogs?”

I like dogs enough never to do this to them.

I like dogs enough never to do this to them.

He kept changing the subject about a job opening that she might be able to help him with. They split the check. He should know that if you want something, then bribery will take you a long way. Cheap people never get ahead.

There were some other sights at the bar – a couple of young wives who looked like they married for money (they had the shiny diamonds but not the shiny smiles); a couple who had to sit with the bartender exit between them (they had to lean over to talk); and people waiting for a table in the restaurant although the bar had emptied out (they must have been the Fundamentalists who risking the afterlife by stepping into the bar)

So, my girlfriend and I watched the crowd as I ate steak and eggs and she had eggs benedict. Added to the appetizer of deviled eggs, we were lucky that we didn’t lay a few. Now, that would have been something interesting to see at the bar.

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